Well... The Warped Tour was really fun, but horrible at the same time. I had a lot of fun when I went around to get the free shit people were handing out. The first show I went to was All American Rejects, and they were really, really good. Awesome stage presence. Then I walked around a whole lot... Ten I ended up telling myself that for some sick strange reason I wanted to be in the front for the My Chemical Romance show....
              So, I made my way to the Atreyu show because MCR was playing right after them... I moshed a little without getting hurt during that show. It had to be the best concert I've ever been to. Then, somehow, Nicole and I made it to the front of the group in front of the stage... Not RIGHT in front, but about four or five people back. Then we're like... "Yay! We're in the front!"
        Then we looked at each other with expressions of intense fear and said, "Oh shit... We're in the front..."

Then Gerard came out on stage, and all of my fears were gone for a few minutes. The first song was I'm Not Okay (of course) and I rocked out like never before during that song... But then I began to realize that I couldn't breathe, and Nicole was nowhere to be found. I was scared...
       Then the moshing began.... I honestly thought I was going to die... I couldn't breathe, I couldn't feel anything below my shoulders... Everything was so hot... Like I was on fire... I passed out a couple of times, and not a single person helped me. They helped other people.... Maybe nobody noticed I went down... But right when I hit the ground, I got kicked in the head, so I woke up... And... I was so scared...
        This might make me sound like a pansy, but...

I started to cry... I couldn't take it anymore. It was only the second song, and I had to get out of there. I had to. There was no options involved.
   Nobody would let me out. I tried to push my way out, but people just shoved me back. There was no room. So I gave up... I just tried to catch every little breath of air I could possibly get.... It wasn't enough. I passed out yet again, and somebody helped me up that time and gave me a quick and soft slap to wake me up... They offered to send me above the crowd, but I told them they wouldn't be able to. This guy had no muscle, he was one of those super skinny emo boys...

Somehow... I found myself giving up. I had nobody to help me, I couldn't breathe, I couldn't feel much of anything, and I couldn't hear much above my own screaming...
          I thought I was going to die.

I used to think death really wouldn't matter to me. But then images of my friends appeared in my mind... All of my Dixon friends passed by really fast, and then my thought centered on the Oregon house. I honestly believed that I was going to die, and that I wouldn't have the chance to say goodbye to anybody at all...
       And somehow, I found myself gathering up energy... I gave all of my energy to my arms and legs and slowly made my way out to the right... And then I noticed the crowd getting thinner. I was going to get out.
    Then, out of nowhere, a crowd surfing chick slammed into the back of my head. I turned around, bit her, and kept going... I had to get out...

when I finally got out, there wasn't a dry spot on my body. Mixed with the sweat of all the hot, sweaty, emo boys all around me, my own sweat also drenched my body.

                They found you on the bathroom floor. I miss you, I miss you so far.

    Then I just walked around, looking for a familiar face... Cheech helped me for a while... but then I left him, not knowing what I was doing, where I was going, where I was at all, or why I was even there. I lost my mind for a few minutes... I was wondering around for hours... Scared out of my mind that I wasn't going to find Nicole alive... Scared that something also might have happened to Adrienne or Clint...

Then I saw Nicole, I dropped everything and ran to her and just broke down. I cried so freaking hard... We're alive... We're really alive...

Seriously... Have any of you guys actually believed you were going to die? It is the scariest thought in the world... Thinking --- Wow, I'm really going to die... This is how it's going to end. Right here, right now. I'm going to die.
Coming to that realization... It's horrible.

I'm going to a party tonight... I need to smoke a bowl... I really need beer or something, I want to get plastered... See you guys later.